ok well like anything its a lot easier to explain it to someone else after you have spent 3 hours trying to figure it out.
Ok well like lots of items on the Van this one is also slightly different then the trucks.
1) Remove all the random plastic pieces that you have to to get to the BCM in front of the passenger seat.
2) Disconnect all the cables from the BCM.
3) Push in on the BCM and lift up then pull it straight down (if you moved all the cables it is easy.
4) Its on the Grey plug.
5) Its a Green wire with a black line on the grey plug.
Here are some photos.
Note I already attached my wire to the deck so you can see.
Also note that this signal goes to ground when you switch into reverse.
So it has ~12-14V on it while in park.
As soon as you switch into reverse it goes to 0V.
It was a pain in the ass to find this, but this was super easy to connect to once I did. So hopefully my pain helps you guys out.