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or, a lesson in making lemonade out of lemons

Outside it was (as a german once told me) "as cold as the a$$ of the man who digs the well". So I figure I need to install my standard cold weather front, namely the cardboard carriers for a couple of 12 packs of Budweiser. They are low quality and dont last but a few month, but they are cheap and readily available.

except today.

Wifey poo, in a fit of marital hari-kari took it upon herself to clean out some crap in the garage. MY garage. Of course, she threw out my cardboard and now I got nothing to use. Then, I noticed that there was a couple of new boxes lying about. the wife is always buying crap from Fingerhut. Finger hut, for those of you who dont know, is this catalog full of useless, low cost crap of galacticly poor quality. Think infomercial you can read on the toilet....

If your wife EVER brings home a Fingerhut catalog, tell her that there is NOTHING in there that a guy wants/needs. I got way too many usless flashlights, and 'one size fits all' wrenchs from them, but I digress.

One cardboard box is shaped and sized roughly right to cover the radiator openeing in a 88-98 GMC. So I grab it and remove the contents in order to filet the box to my requirements. Then I noticed it. What was in the box made me quiver with joy.

The wife bought me a (and I am not making this up) "Vibrating Seat Cover". The fact of the matter that I never, not even once, indicated that I wanted a vibrating seat cover does nothing to offset the fact that there was, laying on my workbench, a leather(esque) seat cover with a vibrating module velcroed to it.

But of course, the seat cover was an absolute perfect fit for the radiator opening. The rounded corners perfectly matched up with the ones on the truck. The lenght was perfect to cover the radiator opening without intruding on the headlights, and the width was just wide enough that you could tuck some under the hood and still have it line up perfectly with the bottom of the opening.

In short, had you asked a professional seamstress to make a winter front, it would have looked exactly like this thing, minus the two velcro strips for the vibrating module. A short effort with a razor knife produced a hole to clear the hood latch mechanism, and Viola! The perfect leather(esque) winter front for my truck.

The wife was, {ahem} less than pleased, but at least I am using this particurlar item. She always has a hurt look on her face when I use my MagLight, instead of on of the many offbeat varieties of flashlights she has so lovingly selected for me. So every now and then I have to make a great show of using the "Strap-on Head Light" that makes me look like a complete doofus and puts out about as much light as a lightning bug on crack.

But not the vibrating seat cover, mister! No way. Its being put to good use each and every day its cold.

Tim

PS the vibrating module is up for sale to the highst bidder. It shakes like a freezing wet hamster in a box.
 

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That was the funniest thing i have read for a while:D Well done Cowracer!
 

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Are you serious? The place is called "Fingerhut"? lol
Good post, still laughin!
 

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Wheres the pics of the install. Hey someone had to say it. OMG that is funny!!!
 

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lol......way too funny...
 

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I just wanted to make an off subject comment: I use a coonlight/mining light while fourwheeling, working at night, ect that has the battery pack on your belt and the light on your head. I might look like a doofus but you cant beat it when working in the dark by yourself. Of course this puts out a ton of light and will last 12 yours continous, much better than a lightning bug on crack.
 

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Fingerhut and other useless suppliers are a husbands worst nightmare; however, the conversen is also true. I let my wife use one of my Surfire 6P flashlights a few years ago and she let one of her friends keep it during a conference. The next time she needed a flashlight was when the power was out, and I gave her one of my Streamlight XL-20s. She gave this one to an elderly neighbor. I gave the AC and DC charger to the neighbor the next day. She let me know that it was the best flashlight she ever had. I didn't tell her that it cost $100.

I have since bought a few cheap worthless flashlights that produce minimal light for when my wife ask for a flashlight when the power goes out, and I keep the Streamlight.
 

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Hilarious!!
 

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That was a great story. Maybe you should hook up the vibrator to shake the snow off the front of the truck.
 

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Years ago, in another century, the Fingerhut family slowly clawed it's way into the JCWhitney\JWarshawski market niche with a set of clear vinyl plastic seat covers, door panel covers, dash covers, ect covers, resembling nothing more than thick bubble wrap, suitably hemmed and elastic-banded for attachment to the designated recipient.

Everyone who was anyone who cared about their new car mail-ordered them to protect the cloth seats and carpeted door panels, and such - and, you could see the orginal upholstery thru the clear vinyl bubbles, bubbles intended to prevent you and your passengers sliding across the seats as the vinyl hardened each winter.

Also, you could order a nifty set of his-hers vinyl orangey\beigey hip-length and full-length jackets, replete with matching gloves, and matching faux-fur hat and muffs, and, for the ladies, matching vinyl go-go style boots with faux-fur lining, and all sorts of jew-jaws and trinkets.

The jackets, gloves and boots were also available in black

They made their money thru the technique of monthly payments - the products absolutely could not be bought or paid for in one lump sum.

You ordered the product out of Mechanix Illustrated, or Science and Mechanics, or Guns Illustrated, and etc - the cards even came in Sears-Roebuck catalogs - with no down payment, then you were billed each month via a payment card - when you returned that card with the payment by such and such date, you received another card for the next month's payment, all nice and orderly, no fuss, no muss.

But also, no cash - the price of the item was divided out over a number of months decided upon by the Fingerhut family, each monthly payment including the fee charged for not paying a lump sum, which you couldn't pay because the payment cards had no 'box' to check for cash pay-off.

You were charged a fee if any attempt was initiated to pay by cash.

I still see those Fingerhut mail-order-only catalogs in Dr's offices, barber shops, Pep Boy's, NTB, etc, waiting rooms.
 

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jifaire;1568920; said:
Nah... hook up the vibrator to the wife!

(what did you say that website was again?)

lol I was thinkin' the same thing......
 

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teroma25;1569030; said:
lol I was thinkin' the same thing......
And I thought I was the only one.:eek:
 
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