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Old 01-25-2006, 02:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
TeddyBear
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Kentucky

Rules to enter Kentucky


Applies to each person as they enter Kentucky. Learn & remember: East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & feed lots and horse farms. That's what they smell
like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-64
goes east and west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

5. If that cell phone rings while a deer is coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

6. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.

7. The "Opener" refers to the first day of hunting season. It's a
religious holiday.

8. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

9. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

10. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use two spices: salt and pepper.

11. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

12. The "Wildcats" and High School Basketball is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

13. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

14. Colleges? Try Lexington, Louisville, Morehead, Richmond, or a bunch a' others. They come outa there with an education plus a love for God and Country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

And Always remember:

"Kentucky can make it without the United States , but the United States can't make it without Kentucky."




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Old 01-25-2006, 02:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
pepperidge
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You wouldn't be a little biased toward Kentucky... would you?

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Old 01-25-2006, 02:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sounds like my kind of state. Idaho panhandle used to be that way but it has turned to about 50% real people and 50% yuppiefornia.
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Old 01-25-2006, 02:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
red gump
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that applies to the south in general really, lol. one of my favorite lines is "don't go thinkin that if you move here and reproduce, we will accept your children a southerners. after all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't go callin 'em biscuits."
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Old 01-25-2006, 03:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
STPETEBLUE
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Quote:
Originally Posted by red gump View Post
that applies to the south in general really, lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by red gump View Post
one of my favorite lines is "don't go thinkin that if you move here and reproduce, we will accept your children a southerners. after all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't go callin 'em biscuits."
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Old 01-27-2006, 12:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My favorite is; Welcome to the south, now leave your daughter and go home.
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